How To Tuesday: How to balance strengths and weaknesses

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Because there really is such a thing as too much of a good thing…

Happy Tuesday Y’all! As you probably already know I’m all about balance. I just find it so important for your own personal happiness to not be afraid to try things while also having enough control to not go overboard.

This post is about finding your own individual personality traits that make you awesome, and keeping them from going overboard. I have this theory that some of peoples biggest strengths can actually become weaknesses if not practiced in balance. For instance: caring about your appearance can become vainity, confidence can become arrogance, and too much attention to detail can make you neurotic. So how do you find balance? I’ll show you.

First you have to pinpoint your own unique personality traits. Take a second and think of a few key words to describe your positive attributes.  Would you consider yourself relaxed and carefree? A confident, cool-headed, leader? The nicest “team player” around? Always aware of your surroundings and looking for new opportunities to overcome? You are honestly probably a combination of these traits but write down up to 5 of your biggest “strengths” and read on..

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You describe yourself as “relaxed” “fun” “carefree” “adventurist” “brave” “spontaneous” 
You may come across as: too much of a risk taker, unreliable, lack of direction, indecisive, inconsistent, unpredictable.
Why this matters: being able to go with the flow is great, but if you find yourself always a step behind (or worse, always trying to fix mistakes) you may be doing yourself more harm than good. It’s possible you may find yourself getting passed up for promotions, constantly running late, making quick decisions you regret, and losing focus on goals and every day life decisions (did you remember to mail out rent?).
How to balance: You may need some organization in your life. First, write down your entire day’s events from wake to bed, and do so honestly as nobody will read this but yourself. If every morning you find yourself running late for work, pinpoint that and find 2 ways to improve (maybe going to bed earlier and moving your alarm clock to the other side of the bed). Weed out unproductive activities through your list in that matter and you will find yourself a new person. Commit to one or two at first and then once you are efficiently operating your new life you can re evaluate if needed. Next make sure you keep a notebook on hand every day. Write your every thought, schedule, everything in it so that you never forget anything again (might I recommend Bullet journalism)
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You describe yourself as “intelligent” “witty” “sarcastic” “passionate”
You may come across as: snobby, pessimistic, bitter, arrogant, judgmental, snarky, .
Why this matters: your sarcasm may fall on deaf ears here and even work against you making you appear more snarky than intended. And while you’re incredibly smart, cramming as many SAT-approved-words into one sentence can make you appear arrogant and full of yourself. People might not feel comfortable talking to you, coming to you with ideas and opportunities, and overall might avoid your presence.
How to balance: Remember that not everyone has your sense of humor or vocabulary. Each person you meet is different and you don’t want to embarrass them by speaking a language they don’t understand. It’s always best to know your audience, so before you bring up anything inappropriate make sure to pick up on non-verbal cues. A good place to start is by observing the other person and seeing how they communicate before trying out your wittiest joke. And if you do decide to go there and notice the other person step back, frown, or cross their arms, abort mission as soon as possible by quickly apologizing with a “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend”. Many people will instinctively react by backing away when they feel offended but a simple apology should set the relationship right back on track.
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You describe yourself as “dependable” “loyal” “generous” “kind” “trustworthy” “compassionate” “selfless” 
You may come across as: a pushover, lack of leadership skills, overly-emotional, lack of ambition, shy, easy to manipulate, clingy, over sensitive.
Why this matters: You’re the nicest person on earth, but it seems all everyone does is take and not give. You may be doing too much for others and not enough for yourself, leaving you less-than-satisfied with your own personal life. What’s worse is you might not be getting the recognition you deserve (I.e. that idea sally from work took credit for but was really yours). You may find yourself overwhelmed with responsibilities because you just couldn’t say “no” to any of the requests asked by your neighbor, coworker, mother, and friends.
How to balance. It’s great how nice and supportive you are but you don’t want to become a pushover. The first step is learning to say “no”. Start small: what is something you currently are doing that is not benefiting your life? Cut that something out! You’ll feel so much better after making that one simple change you will find new-found confidence and motivation to start making things about you! Simply explain why this commitment isn’t working for you and firmly resolve to end it, don’t change your mind or be persuaded, you made this choice for a reason (and remind yourself of that as many times as necessary). Next time you are presented with an offer you don’t want to accept or feel you need to voice your concerns with something that isn’t working reference the time you mustered up the confidence to say “no” and how great it made you feel afterward. You deserve it! And if you do find yourself in a relationship where you are being taken advantage of you need to weed out that negativity (avoid These people).
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You describe yourself as “independent” “confident” “straightforward” “ambitious” “overcoming of obstacles/challenges” “strong” “dominant” “Type-A” “detatched” “aloof” 
You may come across as: aggressive, manipulative, confrontational, possessive, dominating, jealous, headstrong, egotistic, harsh, over-confident.
Why this matters: you are super goal driven, and love to be challenged. Unfortunately your dominant, Type-A personality may be off-putting to many people. You may have a difficult making friends due to your straightforward approach to conversations and may come across as too abruptly.
How to balance: you like to communicate as straightforward as possible. When texting an emailing you tend to forget the “hi”, “by”, or any details, instead opting for a “K” which.. can be offensive to the receiving end. Make sure when your communicating whether in person or online to include a proper greeting and ending and to smile (goodbye RBF). While you may not dwell on emotions, try putting yourself in other people’s shoes by practicing empathy. Make it a goal that with every conversation you understand that you are a special breed, most people do not communicate like you, and remind yourself to be more patient. You don’t want people to feel undervalued, minimized, or to fail. You have high expectations (sometimes too high) so it’s important to realize that in order for people to do their best they must feel comfortable and confident and that will not happen if they feel pressured and stressed by your presence.
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You describe yourself as “open” “talkative” “energetic” “charming” “creative” “philosophical” “friendly” “confident”
You may come across as: flighty, materialistic, selfish, ditzy, superficial, lazy, tactless, careless, chatty, annoying, incompetent, vain.
Why this matters: you’re the social butterfly and people love you. You can talk to anybody about anything… which can get annoying. If your coworker or boss is trying to complete a job and you can’t keep quiet about your after work plans, you may be seen as lazy or incompetent. You may also come across as superficial, vain, self-absorbed or selfish if all you want to discuss is yourself.
How to balance: Next time you find yourself chatting up someone, be it your friend or a stranger, make it a point to ask about the other person. Resist the urge to make the conversation about yourself and really listen to what the other person is saying… this means processing their words, asking questions, and NOT thinking about what you’ll say next (it’s called actively listening). This  article is really helpful.  You’ll also want to cut back on filler words like “um” and “like” and spend a few seconds collecting your thoughts before chiming in. Try to avoid These conversation mishaps. If you’ve gotten a bad rap as the “chatty college” try making it a point to only bring up work-related ideas for awhile. You’ll amaze others with new innovative ideas you can come up with when you concentrate and may even get yourself a promotion!
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You describe yourself as “watchful” “perfectionist” “analytical” “tactful” “focused” “disciplined” 
You may come across as: moody, stubborn, aggressive, anxious, pessimistic, controlling, impatient,  overcritical, extremist.
Why this matters: “everything must be perfect” is your motto, and you may freak a bit when things don’t go as planned… and by a bit, we mean full-on meltdown. And mistakes are absolutely unacceptable. By being super controlling, and leaving no room for error, your perfectionism may lead to cynicism and lashing out on others. People may describe you as “critical” or “resentful” and may not want to be near you for fear of setting you off on a rant.
How to balance: Mindful meditation or quick yoga would do you wonders, and people claim it changes lives. Meditation can be done with as little as 5 minutes a day (and can be done at Work) and can help you unwind when you’re feeling tense. Square off a 15-30 minute block on your calendar, or set an alarm on your Iphone to remind you not to forget your yoga or meditation session to relax daily (day, noon, or night, whenever works best for you). Next time you are feeling particularly stressed try stepping away for a few minutes-before lashing out on an innocent bystander-and take a quick walk in nature preferably to clear your mind. Then you can return to your project or conversation with a clear mind… you’ll even be more productive so use that as your excuse! And try These tricks for reducing work-related anxiety.

 

let me remind you all of these traits that make you unique are wonderful tools that you can take advantage of, just don’t overdo it. I don’t want you to think you can’t be smart, or ditzy, or organized. You should be whoever you are to the fullest! Just try to keep a balance 🙂

That’s all for now guys,
Have a great day!

Xo, Miranda<3